Over sensitive

[Erica]

Good evening!
I want to start by saying I'm saying I'm not really sure where to start or what the issue is exactly ... I have some ideas and I think it is lack of confidence on my part and over sensitivity as well.
I'm not sure where over sensitivity comes from - pride, lack of confidence, all of the above. Recently I have really been some thought to myself being over sensitive and I do know that I am at times (have been many times - especially with my dh). And when I think about it, I realize my whole family (my parents and siblings) is over sensitive - we usually take things the wrong way, we have assumed the worst, we have been over protective of each other, while we ourselves have not exactly supported and loved eachother. The good news is that the Lord has worked much of this out in me ( I am so thankful for this). But I am a work in progress and still have a distance to go! I do not want to be this way, I want to assume the best and not shrink back the moment someone challenges me with their comments or simply makes a statement. Even if they did not mean the comment for the best, I want to remember who I am in Christ and not be shaken so easily and so quickly.
I am thankful for any thoughts and biblical truths that you all may provide.
How wonderful to be able to come here and say this ... what a blessing! Please keep me in your prayers in this issue ... oh, and even though I do not want to be over sensitive ... I definately want my heart to be softened and to be sensitive to those around me - hmmm ... balance!
Much love in Christ,
Erica

[PADIVAN]

Totally relate! I especially do this with people I have a hurtful past with...I wonder if families do this more because there is alot of hurtfulness that goes on in the family? I find myself second guessing a particular family member's motives at times because we have had a rough relationship. She can be very manipulative and takes jabs to hurt people...and so when she says or does something I read into EVERYTHING she does. I am trying to learn not to do that--I find myself being judgmental of her. I was having lunch with a friend today and was running this by her because I am really struggling with it lately...she reminded me that I could do alot more damage in our relationship by being too sensative and worried about everything she does. I realized as she was talking to me about it that some of it is a fear of her...I fear her rejection because she will and has been known to slander me. For next couple of weeks I am going to work on not worrying so much about what she thinks about me...I think that perhaps, for me, in my case, that is why I am overly sensative. I am too worried about what she thinks of me.
Interesting that you should bring this up...I really am having a hard time with this of late. I am also a bit stressed because of our own circumstances and feel a bit run down. So being tired can do that too.
Padi

[Erica]

Thank you for your thoughts Padi and how comforting it is when someone says ' - yep, I get that ... I just get it!

I am hoping to respond more later ...

Love in Christ,
Erica

[lovelevi]

Bless your hearts dear sisters. I will be holding you both up in prayer.
PSA 119:165

[Erica]

Yes, being tired and stressed can certainly cause this. Good point. And so can worrying too much about what someone else thinks about you - that's another good point Padi. I'm thankful for your thoughts - it really helps me look at other reasons why I might react this way at times. I guess there are many reasons we may be over sensitive and in walking in the Word and always asking God for His thoughts and heart on any situation can help this. I also believe that part of this can be based on the fact that my dh is a joker ... something I really love about him (he has a great sense of humor). The thing is though is that it is really only because of Christ that I have security in my relationship (the confidence that comes from the Holy Spirit). I know my dh loves me, and he is growing in his own sensitivity as a husband which is a blessing to me.

On a side note, I have noticed that I am also much more serious than ever before. I almost feel like kind of a "prude". But then I am reminded about the many serious issues in my life! There's not necessarily a lot of "fun-ny" yet ... but I am looking forward to the many light hearted, peaceful, joyful times my family will have together over time. Also, Beth Moore said it best when she said "My mom told me one day, You used to be funnier. I told her, Mom, people are hurting."

We do need to be careful of what we say ... be on guard of how we react as well ... God help us, guard us, guide us and protect us! Amen!

Blessings,
Erica

[PADIVAN]

Erica, I so get what you are saying here! The older I get the more serious I get. Humor has a place in my life...if you lived with me too--you would laugh everyday! :-)
However, scripture does teach us to be "sober" minded because Satan is seeking to devour...perhaps as Christians we have let our guard down too much and therefore are not vigilant enough--that requires a certain seriousness.
Anyway, that was really a rabbit trail--was it not?!
:-)

[windward]

Eric a and Padi -

Regarding your comments about being "serious," I have found that as I have grown in the Lord, there are areas where I have grown more serious too. My daughter ( the 23-year-old) mentioned to me the other day that I'm more serious/strict than I used to be about some things - which I think puzzles her. But I guess I do "see" things differently - through my God goggles - and what I used to think was live and let live and I wanted to be a cool mom, now I don't have those same views, and it bewilders my two dear, unsaved daughters. I wish I had been the way I am now when they and I were 20 years younger. I have a lot of regrets about that. It's hard to raise up a child in the way they should go - backwards.

Padi, you are an awesome woman. I imagine some of the slander and hurtful things said to you by your family member a lot of times come from her own feelings of envy or resentment or insecurity. Usually people who feel pretty happy with their lives and themselves don't feel the need to cut up others. My dear sister at times has taken pot shots at me and gossiped about me to my husband and my own kids and it really ticks me off. And then because she's my sister, I wonder if maybe what she is saying is true.

Erica, you are so loving and kind and I imagine you're sensitive to other people's feelings and try not to be hurtful/insenstive/thoughtless towards others. It could be easy to read something unkind into other people's actions because YOU would never do that particular thing unless you were trying to be hurtful, but it may not necessarily be the case. Some people are just awkward, but they mean well.

Love to you, sisters. I 'get" it too. Win.

[Erica]

Oh Win you are so kind! God bless you! Nope, that is not the case, I'm not that nice and sweet. I wish I was. I certainly can dish it out just like I can take it (sometimes better than I can take it). And that's not good. However, this is not loving and since being a Christian and learning about God's standard of love, I have "improved". Perhaps that is why I seem more serious. I think love is serious business, especially today with so many hurting and not really taking much seriously - I mean nothing is really sacred anymore. Not marriage, not a strong work ethic, not customer service. You know ... maybe we need to be a little more serious.
As for being over sensitive - I am not always over sensistive. I am actually thicked skinned also at times - Either way, I hope to see each situation the way God sees it and not over react or under react. May He help us all and replace our sight and our hearts and our thoughts with HIS!

God bless you all ...

And yes, Win ... good point on the jealousy thing - that could certainly be the issue - something to ask God about Padi, so that you will know how to approach this lady, pray for this lady, and all that :) You know ... just a thought!

Much love in Christ,
Erica