Deeply troubled by the anxiety I am having

[Erica]

God bless you all!
Not long ago, I posted in a thread...WANT TO GET OUT OF JAIL? about how the Lord has freed from anxiety. And yet, here I am in total turmoil over this training session I am doing tomorrow. I have mentioned in the PRAYER section.
I feel like one minute I am excited about this, but that is really becoming less and less. I am saddened by what I feel like because I don't understand why God is not helping me. I have prayed, I have confessed sin and I have asked for forgiveness and for HIS help.

Now on one hand it could be hormonal ... WE ARE EXPECTING A BABY :) PRAISE GOD!!

But I really am nervous ... I know that the Lord can work in spite of hormones ... I know that HIS power is deeper, wider and higher than that! I also know that at times with God, we get the ticket when we need it ... so very well I will feel HIS peace and confidence beyond my own understanding when I need it ... when I am delivering this thing. And then a part of me thinks well what if God leaves me to work through this in all of my nervousness. I don't believe HE will, but how can we possibly understand all the plans that God has and why HE does what HE does. I have given this session over to God over and over again for nearly 2 weeks ... when I started to get nervous and would also tell myself "Oh it's 6 days away ... or it's still 4 days away". And I would have moments of confidence and faith that will God will help me and really looked forward to it. And here it 1 night before and I keep thinking of ways to get someone else to do it ... at least the opening part. I am most anxious about the opening part and facilitating in front of a choice few (people that appear to be confident no matter what you put them to). And here I am a Christian ... one lives in the WORD, an heir to the THRONE, a KINGS daughter ... and I have the confidence of a pit right now. I am really sad about all of this.
I truly believe it must be my hormones ... I just can't stop crying about it!
Perhaps I will ask our Director to do the opening statements. I didn't want to because I'm wanting to get out of being the girl with the "anxiety" issue. I want to be the one that they know something is different about ... that they can see the living God in me! And maybe they still will!
God bless you all for reading this and thank you for your prayers!
Much love in Christ,
Erica

[windward]

Dearest Erica -

Congratulations! And, yes, it's the hormones. God is still God and He is still with you, despite what the chemical reaction in your body is telling you.
One of the hardest things I have had to grasp is that God is working despite how I feel - even if I am scared, anxious, worried, freaked out - just because I'm not at peace doesn't mean God's not working behind the scenes on my behalf. Think of your own darling baby daughter and when she's scared because she had a bad dream or she's frightened by something. And there you are, her wonderful loving mommy, right next to her. Anything that wanted to hurt her would have to go through you first, but she doesn't comprehend that. She's not feeling peaceful. She's freaked out, and it takes some work on your behalf to get her calmed down. Well, you have prayed and God is listening and despite the hormonal turmoil and nerves jangling, I'm sure you will do a good job
Do you like herbal tea at all? There are some blends out there that are made to help you relax. One of my favorite is Tension Tamer by Celestial Seasonings. It's in the grocery store in the tea and coffee section. Or just some plain chamomile tea with honey, a cup or two the morning of your presentation. Well, there I go again being the Jewish momma. You'll do great! Win.

[Erica]

Thank you Win for your words of comfort and your tea suggestions (I have written them down and will certainly look into them). I do love enjoying a cup of tea :)

It is the morning of my presentation that takes place today at 1pm ... I am choosing to stay in worship throughout the morning because I know that the Lord is with me, that He will continue to be with me! Praise His Holy Name - He is GOOD :)

Blessings to you all and thank you for lifting me up in prayer and that the group I am with will have one heart and a shared spirit for the information that we are sharing today!

Thank you Lord!!!

Much love in Christ,
Erica

[Erica]

All the Glory is HIS! God bless you all for your words of encouragement and all your prayers!

Wanted to let you know that we had an absolutely wonderful session (as I knew we would).
We had a real spirit of unity in the room and people were so eager to learn about eachother and ask questions. It was an absolute blessing to be a part of this and I am so thankful that God allowed me to share in HIS glory!

My Director even said "You know you guys really did a great job (myself and 2 other ladies :) and I really see a part B to this like a Newsletter going out that includes the 'language of the month', or featuring a Client that is a Newcomer, and sharing our experiences about working with Newcomers!" She was really excited about it ... everyone was energized.
One of my coworkers even said "You know I gotta tell ya some of us were pretty skeptical about attending a training session on a Friday afternoon ... we were like grrr ... but this was really good! This made it all worth it!"
Another said "This was a very relaxed, interactive session and at the same time, very informative! It was definitely an afternoon well spent!"

I am thankful that the Lord put it upon my heart to pray for this unity, this shared spirit, this time of learning and sharing! And I am thankful for the power that lies in expressing worship to our King! That we can come before HIS throne, pour out our heart in worship and HE will honor it! OUR LORD IS ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS AND MY HEART OF GRATITUDE IS OVERFLOWING! THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE! YOU ARE AMAZING AND WE ARE IN AWE OF YOU! PRAISE YOUR HOLY NAME!

So God bless you all and may you all know HIS peace that surpasses all understanding!

Much love in Christ!

[Gentletouch]

Yes Erica, our GOD is an awesome GOD. HE is forever trustworthy and HIS word can be trusted because it is true and full of power.

You definitely experienced the power of GOD and manifestation of HIS glory as you obeyed and relied on HIS faithfulness.

GOD bless you and congratulation to you and your husband for your baby coming.
Maybe I can visit you in Ontario before you deliver your baby. I will stay in the house of one of my friends there. I think I'm dreaming again.


Lots of love,

Gentletouch

[windward]

Dear Erica-

I was just wondering this morning how your presentation went. Halleluia! Our God is an awesome God, and as I read your post I was thinking of the verse in Romans 10:11 "For the scripture saith: Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed." I love the fact that the people who were dreading going to a presentation on a Friday afternoon (no kidding) really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your victory. It is a real encouragment and a testimony to the power of praise.

On another note, how are you feeling? When are you due? That's so exciting. I remember when I joined the board a couple of years ago you were home on maternity leave with your baby girl. It's so awesome that you get a year off in Canada. That blows my mind. I went back to work when my oldest was ten weeks old and my youngest was four months old, and it was excruciatingly hard. I would have loved to have had that extra time. So please keep us posted on how you're dong and how we can pray for you. Much love and blessings to you - Win.